-Chemical warfare

In 5th grade, under the other Bush, during a different Iraq War, we were told one day to bring in care packages to send to members of our armed services who were serving out there. Now, at 11 years old, I had only 2 views of the desert: the trips to Las Vegas my family had gone on, and fictional depictions from movies and cartoons that painted a picture of a vast, middle of nowhere sea of sand, with no stores, food, or supplies anywhere to be seen. I was also under the impression that field duties for the army consisted of being far from base, wandering through wilderness, and pooping in the bushes (or cacti as the case may be.) 

So, why in the hell would people send our brave soldiers magazines (who has the time to read?), candy (and get dehydrated in the desert???), or little games that would just burden their already heavy load?

Happy soldier with "good" care package

Happy soldier with "good" care package


I had seen many M*A*S*H* episodes. There was no time for dispensing medicine, just emergency surgeries with witty banter and deep discussions.

Being the only kid who seemed to actually care about the comfort and basic health of our troops I packaged together the best I could loot from our house medicine cabinet.

My thoughtfully compiled care package consisted of:


-Chewable Pepto Bismol

-Extra Strength Tylenol



and, most importantly…

-Immodium AD

Help is on the way!



Sorry, to whoever received this package. My only hope is that you at least got to concoct some Speed or Meth to trade/sell for something good.


One Response to “-Chemical warfare”

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