-We are not spoken for by disrespectful jerks…

First off, Selma, America, and Mandy are all on my celeb “list.” You know, the hypothetical list ala “Friends” that couples make for fun.
Nick Coles can suck it. Sounds like someone has his own self-esteem issues.

Below is a Live Journal entry I wrote when I was working at VMS in 2005 and scanned through hours of daytime TV which is the time of day the most painfully condescending commercials air for women, the recently injured, and the unemployed. I would definitely change some wording and phrasing around but you get the point. (and please remember the bad spelling and grammar should be ignored)

p.s. I tagged some women I know and because I thought they might be interested in reading this and not necessarily because the content is related to them one way or another. Also, Sara, this is the entry I was telling you about when you posted about Amanda Palmer and the music video.

October 21, 2005

OK, let me begin this by saying that clearly this doesn’t affect me directly but I have had people close to me affected and that does make it mean something to me.

What has begun bothering me for a long time now is society’s rampant abuse of woman by way of image. Having had close relationships with women with eating disorders, combined with a job dealing with commercials all day, and the Hollywood “trend” that has been around for a while and doesn’t go away, it’s been building as an issue to me.
This is an issue that often gets talked about and complained about but not much to help gets done. Kudos to Dove on taking the first steps with “real” women models. No one is asking companies to hire 300 lbs women, but real would be nice. I don’t know many men who like sticks. Most men like curves. It’s in our genetic make up to go for women who can survive and rear children. Somehow, society has gotten it into some men’s heads that waif is what is attractive and men have gotten easily brainwashed. (Not to say naturally skinny women are all unattractive either.)

The thing of it is, modeling seems to have started the thin image, and who runs modeling companies? A lot of women and gay men do, who don’t look for women who are necessarily sexually appealing but women who are “attractive” on paper. I’m not blaming gay men, but sexy and pretty can be two different things. There is a bad standard set now that all fashion moguls seem to go by.

Now actresses think the only good career move is to get super thin and so everyday women thinks this is what they should strive for.
But, it’s a common misconception that ED’s are really just women being stupid and vain. Like many neurological issues, OCD, ADD, etc… it, much of the time comes from chemical imbalances and is simply triggered by things like society, teasing, mean parenting, etc… Part of the reason it gets deadly is because it comes with such a stigma that women don’t want to be labeled by it so they keep it to themselves.

Throughout the day, when I’m scanning daytime TV there are a ridiculous amount of Jenny Craig, Weight Watchers, LA Weight Loss, and other commercials directed at stay-at-home moms. They talk about what a better life you have when you lose weight and how much your husband will be thrilled. Less often shown are the companies that actually advertise for the sake of your own health.

I think the worst thing was the commercial where Kirstie Alley is angrily slamming down cardboard cut-out photos of her when she was overweight.
Yes, Kristie, boooo!!! You should hate your overweight self! All overweight women should, yes?
It’s not unheard of for men to have EDs. Unfortunately it’s more acceptable to be an overweight man than an overweight woman, however. Women are given such different standards of what is attractive, and how much to prepare themselves, i.e.: make-up, hair, etc…

(Definitely where I’d change how a paragraph from when I first wrote it sounds.)
I’ll be the first to admit that it would have to take a very special woman to win me over who is morbidly overweight to an unhealthy degree. However, real, somewhat overweight, I’m fine with. I don’t often go for waifs, and to me good looking ones are few and far in between, and I’ve crossed many a woman off my celebrity crush list in recent years.

My girlfriends, despite what they have thought, have been normal sized. But, I realize it’s all how you see it, in a distorted way. I liken it to the way if I’m walking on the sidewalk and someone passes me and sneezes near me, I feel like my hand was just pulled in front of their face when they sneezed.

It has helped to understand EDs on some level by having the OCD. I think they, and ADD all sort of come from the same place. But, no one can ever understand EDs entirely but the people who have to deal with them.

It’s not going to end soon though. Actresses have to be just as thin as the next one or they feel they will be perceived as fat. And, while I am reluctant to reference her, as Lindsey Lohan put it after she lost a lot of weight, if she puts any weight back on now, getting back to normal, she’ll be perceived as fat, having set her own unfortunate standard for how people see her. And, the magazines that every now and then have cover stories, “Is Hollywood Too Thin?” will the next week have stories, “So and So is Spiraling Out of Control!” because they put on weight.

What is the solution? I don’t know for sure. I really would like to see more companies follow Dove and a decline in weight loss company marketing. But, that will not likely happen. Hey, it’s natural to want to lose weight and it’s not always from an ED. Just so much of it has gotten out of control. I also wish there would be more education for girls growing up to counter some of society’s messages, and lessen the stigma on EDs as something stupid girls who don’t know better have, but something that is a problem to be dealt with on all levels.

“It’s Not About Food” is a very good way to get insight into the roots of EDs.
There’s a book I recommend called “It’s Not About Food” which describes how it is about self-image, possible trauma, and other factors women need to deal with. The 2 people I know who I thought might benefit from borrowing it declined to read it because they didn’t want to find out any new methods of carrying out their EDs. Sadly that makes perfect sense. There have got to be better ways.

And, this says it all:
From the LA Weight Loss site
LA Weight Loss Success Story
Kristina Drift

“My husband thinks I look beautiful – just like I did in my wedding dress.”

Wow. Time for a divorce!
“After having four children in three years, I put on a lot of weight. With the L A Weight Loss Program, it was easy to take off all my baby weight. Now when we go to the park, playing soccer, running around, I definitely have a lot more energy.”
Ah, whew! Much better. Now your husband won’t have to bang his skinnier coworkers!
“L A Weight Loss was very flexible to my schedule. I never needed an appointment. I could walk in with my children, get weighed, and walk out of there, feeling happy because I always lost my weight. I was able to make a healthy dinner for my family that we all enjoyed. L A Weight Loss taught me how to eat the right foods, so I know I’ll never be overweight again.”

“I’m having a Christmas party this year and I have the perfect outfit in mind. I’m going to wear a little black, slinky, sleeveless dress, and I’m hoping that everyone will see the new me and say, ‘Wow!'”

“I’ve recommended L A Weight Loss to my two sisters and we have all lost weight. Anybody can lose weight on L A Weight Loss – it’s easy, it’s fast and it’s convenient.”


2 Responses to “-We are not spoken for by disrespectful jerks…”

  1. Bill, you are absolutely correct, it shows that you’re an authority on the subject. I admire someone that takes the pride you have and with your projecton of information. oSo when i actually do sit down to read material, I appreciate well written and organized blogs like this one. I have it bookmarked and will be back. Thanks.

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